All I Am
by LiraelAlanna
Summary: A series of drabbles and oneshots centered around the life of Leah Clearwater. Mainly Blackwater. Please read and review.
1. Always

**This is the first time I'm venturing into the whole genre of drabbles. The ones I've read are amazing, and I hope will half as good :D Constructive criticism is welcome, as always.**

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"You can't fight an imprint, Jacob."

Like he didn't know. Like it wasn't what he had been trying to do all this time, and failing miserably.

"Renesmee is who you're supposed to be thinking about. Not Leah."

If only it was that easy.

"You'll only hurt her." Sam went on. "Don't you think she's been through enough?"

Of course he did. He had witnessed every moment of pain Leah Clearwater had been through in the last two years. He knew what it was like; the tears, the betrayal, the humiliation, the very meaning of wanting to die. He knew what it was to be her.

"You won't be any better than me." He hissed. "I tried, Jake, and I lost."

His head jerked up.

"I'm not you, Sam." He replied quietly. "And that's why I won't give up so easily. I'll keep fighting for her, always.


	2. Forever

**Author's Note: Six reviews in one day, sure didn't see that coming! Thank you guys SO much! And I've kept this one kinda short, fasting has been wearing me out. Hopefully I'll post up two more chapters by the end of the week. This is a Sam/Leah one, in case you were wondering. Requests for oneshots are welcome. **

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"You promise?" she whispers. "Forever?"

He smiles as he slips the ring onto her finger. He brushes away a strand of hair from her face.

"Forever."


	3. Care

Eighteen hours after Jacob Black imprinted, Leah Clearwater found herself sitting along the shores of First Beach, throwing the occasional rock into its waters.

He had told her to stay away from La Push for a while; Sam's pack was patrolling the area, and he didn't want any trouble.

But she couldn't bring herself to care. She couldn't anymore.

Jacob Black and imprinting. She should have seen it coming. Of course, the Alpha needed a perfect little soulmate to spend the rest of his life with.

She couldn't help but feel betrayed. Hadn't he told her that didn't want to imprint? That he didn't want to love someone because he _had _to?

One look at the kid's brown eyes was all it took. He was as good as sold. Even the guy who was dead set against imprinting had to go and do it.

Either Fate was screwed up, or it just enjoyed screwing her.

And she had to (grudgingly) admit that the baby was beautiful. One of the most beautiful things she had ever seen. Funny, she had imagined the spawn would look like the Swamp Thing.

Even as a newborn, she was perfection. And way Jacob looked at her…

She shook her head.

She told herself she didn't care.


	4. Right

**Author's Note: Again, to all you amazing people who have been reviewing, thank you so much. I'd name all of you, but it's three in the morning and I have ten minutes left on this thing. As always, constructive criticism is welcome, and so are requests for oneshots. **

**I'm having my doubts about this one, there's a little nagging voice telling me it's a bit lame. Tell me what you think. **

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"So," she says casually, leaning back. "What exactly do you think you have over me that the others don't?"

He turns to face her, grinning lazily.

"I can make you smile."

He looks so freaking smug when he says it that she has to fight the urge to hit him.

"Oh really?" She raises an eyebrow.

"Yup." The supreme self-confidence is getting on her nerves.

"Cannot."

"Can too."

"Cannot."

"Can too."

"Cannot."

"Can- Ah,_ there_ we go."

"Oh, shut up." She turns away so he won't see the twitching sides of her mouth.

She hates it when he's right.

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**Please review.  
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	5. Wonder

She wonders if Emily remembers.

She wonders if she remembers every moment the two have them have shared over years, the laughter, the tears, the secrets, and even the fight. Anything that reminds her of the bond they had; a bond they had once thought was unbreakable.

God, she hates Sam. It wasn't enough that he had ruined practically her entire life by leaving; he had to take her best friend with him.

Deep down, she knows it's stupid to blame them. She's seen how absolute the ties of imprinting are through her wolf brothers; breaking one would nearly kill them. But it's Emily who hurt her the most. Emily, who didn't even look back as she was left behind, heartbroken. Emily, who could see nothing but her future with Sam now.

Leah wonders if Emily remembers she always wanted her to be happy. And that is the hardest part. Because when she sees them together, perfect halves of each other, she can't help but feel happy for them even though the pain tears apart her on the inside.

Even if Emily doesn't, Leah remembers enough for the both of them. The time they pitched a tent in the backyard, only to come running back inside an hour later, terrified of the dark. And the time when Leah, being the rebellious one streaked her hair purple, and had to face Sue's and Harry's combined wrath. Emily had been right by her side the entire the time, sitting through a whole hour of hollering with her. The time when Sam first asked her out, the time when they shared their first kiss… Emily knew everything.

She also remembers the way they never thought of themselves as cousins; they were always sisters. The way the had loved each other, and had promised never to let anything ever come between them.

But most of all, she wonders at the irony of it; how one kind of love can completely destroy another.


	6. Moments

**Author's Note: Twilight22lover, Kei Kat Jones, brankel1, MrsBlackWifey, Blackwater4Evr and all you other guys, you people are the most awesomest, amazing incredible guys EVER! Thank you sooo much. This chapter is dedicated to you guys.**

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Leah knows that the two year old half vampire has Jacob tight in her grasp and that it takes a whole lot of pulling to get him loose. She has witnessed the absolute power the little girl has over him, and it's quite pathetic, seeing how small and fragile she is when compared with him.

Nessie is all he can see when she's with him. Jacob is willing to do anything for her, be anything for her and there's nothing Leah can do but watch.

But there are moments. Moments when she can call him hers.

Moments when they run together in the darkest hours of the night, having lost all sense of time, aware only of each other's presence. Moments when their eyes meet across a room and they share a private smile. Moments when he holds her hand for no apparent reason when they walk down a street. Moments when he whispers her name, as they lie tangled together on her bed. Moments when he tells he loves her and no one else, and she lets herself believe it. Moments when she looks at him, and sees a fleeting glimpse of the future they could have had.

And it's in those moments when he is hers, and hers alone.


	7. Happy

**Author's Note: For all you guys who have been banging your heads on your keyboards because the one shots have been too short...Forgive me. I hope this makes up for it.**

**A couple of things**

**1. If you're on Facebook, join the group Team Blackwater. **

**2. And I'll being going out of town for a week, getting back to nature, blah blah blah, which basically means...no internet. And no internet means no chapters. I know. I suck. Again, forgiveness is virtuous. :D **

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"You're sure you're ok?" He asks for the hundredth time. "Sure you don't want to leave?"

She sighs and bites back an irritated reply. "_Yes, _Jacob." she replies through clenched teeth. "I'm fine. Just as fine as I was ten minutes ago."

He's hurt now, and she sees that. Sighing again, she leans against him. Not his fault she was stupid enough to agree to be a bridesmaid. Not his fault that she had to witness Sam and Emily's wedding right up close. Not his fault there's this tight, heavy feeling in her chest that she's trying to ignore.

"It's hard." she mumbles. "Even two years later...it's still hard." Her voice breaks. "I really loved him. And her."

He strokes her hair. "I know you did."

They sit there in silence for a while and then he speaks.

"Did the faces I make in the back help?"

She lets out a giggle. It's such a Jacob thing to do, make her laugh at her ex-boyfriend's wedding.

"The cross eyed one with the lolling tongue was classic. Nessie teach you that?" He rolls his eyes and punches her lightly on the arm. She knows he'll let that jab at his imprint go, just this once.

The garden they're sitting in is a welcome change from the crowded reception hall. It was really starting to get to her, the flashing lights, loud music (they should have never let Paul be DJ.) the sight of Sam and Emily spinning around the dance floor...

When Jake had offered to go outside with her, she'd gladly and gratefully accepted. Anyplace was better than in there, under the pitying stares of the guests.

_Poor thing, putting on such a brave face, must be so hard..._

Stupid old farts.

She's glad that she's with him now. Pressed up against him, with arms around her shoulders, his warmth radiating against her, Leah feels safe. Protected. It's something she hasn't felt in a long time.

In a few minutes she knows they'll have to go back inside. She'll plaster a smile on her face, mingle with friends and cousins. She'll dance with her wolf-brothers, and try to keep her feet from getting stepped on. She'll go up to the newlyweds and wish them a happy future. Maybe she'll even try and catch the bouquet.

But for now, she's happy right where she is.

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**REQUESTS FOR ONESHOTS ARE WELCOME!!! AND SO ARE REVIEWS!**


	8. Beautiful

**Author's Note: Sorry for the delay, on vacation. Realized that the beach and internet don't get along so well. :P Again, to the reviewers, thank you guys for making my day every time! And to Bridget, I am sentimental personified. :D **

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It was lame, it was corny, it was-

"Beautiful." she sighed. "That is absolutely beautiful."

The full moon glowed silver, bright against the dark night sky. It was cliche, a werewolf enjoying the sight of a full moon, but then again, when she was around a certain someone it was hard _not _to find something beautiful in everything.

"Yeah." he agreed, not looking at the silvery orb, but at her. "It is."

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**This was short, I know. But it's disco night at the resort, and I must be leaving. :D **


	9. Family

**Author's Note: Thanks again to reviewers for being so patient! I've been down with the flu for a couple of days, hence the delay. And guys, I'm running out of ideas for oneshots, so requests and ideas ARE WELCOME.**

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Jacob had once told Bella that one of the perks of being a werewolf was the feeling of family that came with it. Leah couldn't agree more.

Yeah, she had been the bitter shrew of the pack. The bitch that no one wanted around. She would taunt and humiliate every member of the pack, until it was all they could do to keep from killing her. The reason? Sam Uley and his damn thoughts. Now she had an insight into every aspect of his life; falling in love with her, imprinting on Emily, leaving her... She wanted to make him miserable. And when she hurt their brothers, she hurt him.

But all that changed when she joined Jacob's pack. She was happy again. She was Beta, second in command, an authority few wanted to mess with. And for the first time, she began to form a bond with her fellow wolves.

Quips about Quil being a pedophile and Embry being a bastard stopped. She started listening. Listening and learning what it was like to be them, through their eyes. And it return, they tried to understand. Understand why she can turned into a what she had, tried to understand the pain she had gone through, and comfort her. There were times when all five of them would fly through the forest, minds connected to each other, one being, one pack.

They were one now, all of them. Each one of them was willing to take down an army for another, each one would know down any hurdle that stood in the others way.

They were a team, they were a pack, they were a family.

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**I'm still not satisfied with this, but y'all have been waiting so long I thought it would be unfair not to post it up. R&R**


	10. Truth

**Author's Note: This is dedicated to ItsCuzOfTheFame for the idea that I twisted around. **

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"What the _hell?" _Her hand freezes on the doorknob as she enters the living room. She's just about had a heart attack, but what the hell is Sam Uley doing in her living room at this hour?

He stands before her, arms crossed and eyes hard and serious. There something in his face that makes her want to take a step back, but she holds her ground.

"I _said,"_ she repeats, "What the hell are you doing in my house?"

He shrugs carelessly. "You left the window open. Bad idea."

God, what an asshole. That's all he has to say? No, 'Sorry Leah for breaking in and nearly scaring the shit out of you'?

"Get out." Her voice is curt, cutting. Tonight had been perfect, one of the best nights of her life, and he had to come ruin it.

"Where were you?" he asks evenly.

"What the- That's none of your freaking business!"

"With Jacob?" He asks again, his eyes never leaving her face. She swallows, trying to let go of the anger that building within her.

"Yeah." she replies, trying to keep her voice level. "None that it concerns you."

He takes a step towards her, his expression full of concern now.

"Leah." He says softly. "You know that I never meant to hurt you and that-"

"Don't" She hisses, cutting him off. "_Don't_ tell me you still love me and want what's best for me, you pathetic-"

"Leah" he says again, interrupting her. "You know its true. And we both know you've been through enough."

Yeah, damn right they do. She's given him his share of hell.

"All I want is for you to be happy." He says, pleading now. "And you can't be happy with him."

"Says who?" She snaps. "You? Well, in case you didn't notice, I stop caring about what you wanted and thought a long time ago."

"You think he'll give you what you want?"

"He'll try. Which is more than you ever did."

"You know what he'll do?" He's yelling now. "He'll leave you for her! Once she's grown, he'll never look at you again! It'll be like Emily and me all over again! And you _want _that?"

She steps back; his words are a slap in the face. No, worse. A stab, right in the middle of her heart.

She takes a shaky breath and speaks. "Get out. Right now."

"Lee-lee-"

"I said _get out! Now!" _

He backs away slowly, finally climbing out of the open window.

She slumps against the wall, tears streaming . No matter how hard tries, she can't convince herself that everything he's said isn't the bitter, hard truth.


	11. Waiting

Emily looked beautiful.

In a white, flowing gown and swept up, she was radiant. Even the gruesome scars down her face didn't mar the image. She was everything any bride wanted to be; happy, and blissfully in love. Her happy ending was only a few hours away.

Leah watched her quietly, from the other side of the room. Pink wasn't her color, and the fabric was beginning to itch. Her short hair had pulled into a tight braid, making her scalp hurt.

Emily turned to her, beaming.

"How do I look? she asked, twirling around.

She stood up, crossed the room, and embraced her cousin, ignoring the fact that her stomach was heavy as lead.

"Come on." she said, looking away. "He's waiting."


	12. Everything

**Author's Note: Sorry I took so long guys, the Document Uploader's been giving me some trouble. Thanks again for the reviews!**

**This is dedicated to Bridget and Janna; without you guys supporting me, what happened at Ashram would have never happened. I wish you could have been there today. CP Pride, baby!  
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Sometimes he wondered he didn't just make his damn mind up.

He was hovering on the edge of one decision every minute. Never being able to make it.

It was one that he should have never had to make in the first place. A decision he told himself was stupid, because there was in no way in _hell _he felt that way about Leah Clearwater...unless he did.

Nessie or Leah?

Frustrating was not the word. They were so completely different; fire and ice. He knew, deep down, whom he wanted. But that could change in the course of time.

Nessie was perfect. Beautiful, kind and gentle. He couldn't imagine anyone more brilliant. When he was with her...the world just wasn't that important anymore. She _was_ his world. Nothing mattered more than her anymore. He knew that Bella was secretly pleased with the fact that her daughter would end up with her best friend and stay with the family for the rest of eternity, but the truth was, he couldn't imagine ever thinking of her that way. All he saw when he looked at her was the adorable baby sister he would give his life to defend.

And Leah couldn't be more different. She could be selfish, bitter and one of the most dangerous women he knew. But she was strong and loyal. Loyal to him and her brothers. It was the little things he loved about her; the way her nose scrunched when she way thinking, how a lock of hair always managed to curl on her forehead that he itched to brush away for her. How she had a wonderful, deep laugh that came right from within. How sometimes, she'd smile for no reason, thinking he wasn't watching.

Their parents would be ecstatic if they got together; Billy had tried his hardest to accept the fact that his son was destined to spend the rest of life with a hybrid. Jacob knew his father would rather he marry Quileute, stay on the reservation and take his place as an Elder. A future he was resigned to watch fade away.

Nessie was everything he needed. Leah was everything he wanted.

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**Hope you guys liked that; there's a bit of Native pride I added there :P. I found that lacking in the books, for some reason.  
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	13. Fight

**Author's Note: Okies, so this is a Leah/Nahuel one. Before you coming rushing at me with pitchforks, let me explain. This is more about the ups and downs of imprinting, how you feel wonderful around that person, only cause you have to. Leah contemplates how she would rather the feel the way she does about Nahuel by her choice. There. Now, go read and review. **

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It was his eyes. It was his goddamn eyes. One look, and she was a prisoner for the rest of her life.

Those brilliant, clear, almost amber eyes. Close enough to leeches' color; well, he was half-vampire anyway. Not that it mattered to her. He could have been a mutated hydra who had risen straight out of a vat of green glump and she wouldn't have cared.

Later, she would wonder how they were that color; The Mapuche were dark. Must have come from his father's side. Even the thought of a murderer like Joham being his father didn't even make her flinch. He was perfect by himself. Regal, strong, and perfect.

And that was the problem. She didn't want perfection. She didn't want to feel her heart thumping when he was near, her breath quickening when his eyes held hers. She didn't want him to make her feel the way she did when he touched her.

Because she had never asked for it. At least, not in the years gone by. It was kind of like a sick joke; Leah Clearwater, girl who got her heart broken by imprinting finally goes out and imprints herself…and tries her best to fight it.

After all those years of telling her self that she didn't need a soul mate, that she could deal with the pain, go out there and fall in love with someone because she wanted to, her choices got ripped away. Just like that.

The worse part was she found it hard to care. Nahuel _completed_ her, in a way no one could. Not even…not even a certain person she knew.

She told herself it was only fair; Jacob had an imprint, and now she did too. Tit for tat. If they had had something, whatever it was, it was over now. He would understand. He had to. If he had expected anything to have come out of them...they had both been idiots. Idiots who had believe that what they had was worth fighting for.

She pushed away the small part of her that knew they could have won.

Jacob Black was history. Nahuel was her future. And there was nothing she could do to fight it.


	14. Difference

**Author's Note: This is a sequel of sorts to the last chapter. Jake and Leah after the imprinting takes place. R&R, guys.**

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"You think I wanted this to happen?" She screams, throwing her hands up. "How the hell can you blame me? You should know how…how goddamn impossible this is!"

He stops, his hand on the doorknob. Every part of him is screaming to go back to her, hold her against him, and tell her it'll all be ok. It takes all his willpower to stay where he is.

"I-," She chokes. "I can't fight this Jake. Neither could you. What makes the two of us any different, anyway?"

"I tried, Leah." He replied quietly. "And that was the difference."

He leaves. She doesn't follow.


	15. Ran

**Author's Note: Special thanks to reveiwers!**

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Leah stumbled out of the club, clutching her head in her eyes, and trying to force down the bile that came up.

God, she was stupid.

It was the fifth time in a month she's be coming home drunk. Sue would yell her heart out, and Seth would say nothing but look at her in disgust. Her mother would end up in tears, asking her if this was what her father wanted her to be.

She didn't care anymore.

Bars and clubs were her new getaway now. She had tried to forget why her life sucked in the flashing, bright lights and loud, pounding music that made her head throb. In the men she had danced with, men she had pressed up against, people she barely knew. In the alcohol she had downed, shot after shot, the alcohol that was making her sick.

She tried taking a deep breath. Crap, who even said that worked?

Her stomach lurched, she needed to find a bush fast- too late. The sight of the mess she had made disgusted her all more. She needed to get away from this place, away from all of it.

Heading towards the forest, she felt her clothes rip away as her body took on a new form. Her paws hit the dirt.

She ran.


	16. Missing

**Author's Note: **

**Kei Kat Jones: Lol, she's not going anywhere. Just...running. And I've been reading your fics and meaning to review. Great job on all of them! **

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She pushes him away suddenly, her lips swollen, her hair mussed. Looks at the hallway cautiously.

"You think they'll notice we're missing?" she asks, only half-worried. Hard to care really, when his hands are snaking up her shirt like that...

"With all that beer I got them?" he murmurs in her ear. "They better not."

And they pick up right where they left off.

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**Apologies for the shortness, midterms are around the corner! Thanks for putting up with me guys!**


	17. Less

**Author's Note: Reviewers, I love you, I love you, I love you- ah, you get the point. Give me ideas, and the love shall increase. :D**

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His eyes burn into hers.

"_You understand now?" _he asks in wolf speak, "_What really happened?"_

She's too numb to react. In the past ten minutes, she's learned why her father was dead, why she had four feet instead of two, why their was a coat of fur all over her, and why Sam Uley had left her.

Not exactly the kind of situation you want to be in, thirty-six hours after your world officially crashes down.

Dad was dead. And it was her fault. She'd changed into this...this _freak _and he'd witnessed it. The phasing of his older daughter, the girl who would become the known female werewolf in the tribe's history, was too much for Harry to handle. He lay under the earth's ground, cold and still. Her mother was a widow now, her little brother an orphan. All because of her.

And there was something else. She's finally learnt the truth about Sam. All those weeks he went missing, what happened after that...Every moment of his life she had glimpsed. His father leaving them, falling in love with her and, her stomach churned here, the way he felt about Emily. That impossibly unbreakable bond. A bond so strong, she couldn't even tell herself that the two of them had even had something like that.

"_I had no choice, Leah." _he says softly. "_You need to know that."_

Imprinting. The word is so new, unfamiliar, and already she hates the very sound of it. The little magical phenomena that was the beginning of the end of her world. It should be a good enough excuse for anyone else to forgive Sam, but Leah Clearwater isn't anyone.

Oh, she understands alright. But it doesn't make her hate him, or her, or frigging Fate for that matter, any less.


	18. Blush

**Author's Note: Wohooo, over 100 reviews!! I LOVE you guys!! Thanks for being such a huge encouragement. Kei Kat Jones, high five right back at ya. **

**P.S: Is is just me, or can any one else not wait for the next chapter of She Hates Me? :P**

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She was pretty, goddamn it, and she was going to prove it.

No matter how much the boys oogled, laughed and smirked, Leah Clearwater was going to look beautiful tonight.

It was Nessie's second birthday, and of course Jake had to act like nothing else in the world was as important. He and Blondie had nearly ripped each other apart trying to decide what flavour the cake should be.

She couldn't care less. She was going to show the world (or at least the pack for starters) that yes, she actually owned a dress that fit. And reached below her knees.

And she didn't look half bad. As pretty as the dark leech, anyway. The dress hugged her curves, her hair was swept up, and jewelry glittered on her wrists and neck.

Jacob's eyes widened as she stepped into the tiny living room, his mouth slightly open. After blinking several times, he managed to stammer out that he thought she looked nice.

She rolled her eyes. He had _such_ a way with words.

But for the first time in a long while, she felt herself blush.


	19. Work

**Author's Note: Hmm, not totally happy with this one, but since I won't be online for a couple fo days, thought I'd post it up anways. :D Have I mentioned that I hate it when we have school on Saturday? Ugh.**

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"Sheesh, whaddya think Jake?" Seth rolls his eyes. "Of course I'm not happy." The younger werewolf's eyes burn angrily.

He shifts uncomfortably. There are a million places in the world he would rather have this conversation, but the bed where he's just slept with said werewolf's older sister is not one of them.

He figures it had to happen sooner or later. Leah had told him that Seth would figure it out sooner or later. And then they would have to have The Conversation. As they were trying to do right now.

Of all things, he wishes he was dressed a little more decently. The boxers will just have to do for now.

"Ok." He sighs. "You're not happy. Can't say I don't blame you."

He doesn't. He's been in this position before, having to deal with your pack brother hook up with your sister. Unbelievably, mortifyingly embarrassing don't even come close to describing it. The only thing that had stopped him from shredding Paul's pathetic face apart was the fact that his sister was happy. Happier than she ever had been.

Like he thinks (or hopes) Leah is now.

"She's- She's _my sister." _He sputters out. "Its- Your thoughts- Me- Oh man." He runs a hand through his hair. "You could have any other girl on the rez, and it _had_ to be her, right?"

"Look, kid." He says, not quite sure how to put it. "Your sister…I love her, Seth. Not the way I loved Bella, definitely not the way I love Nessie. But there it is. I'm in love with her, and I don't really know why, considering she can really bug the shit out of me sometimes." He gives the boy a half-smile.

Seth's forehead creases.

"Screw this up, and I'll...."

He grins, waiting for him to complete the threat. No way in hell is he going to tell his Alpha that he'll take him down.

"Do something." He says finally. "Painful. Very, very painful."

"So," Jake says slowly. "You're okay with…" he gestures around vaguely. "This?"

Seth's blanches, and he knows that the kid just wants to get as far away from the room as possible.

Instead of answering, he shrugs, mumbles something and leaves the room.

Jacob falls back on the bed. Somehow, no matter what it takes, he's going to make this, all of it, work.

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	20. Stop

**Author's Note: Sorry about the delay.**

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"I'm sorry." he keeps saying. "Lee-lee, I swear. I'm sorry."

She doesn't look at him. Her eyes stay fixed on the worn carpet of her room.

"I-" his voice is desperate, "Leah, _please, _just look at me."

The patterns are etching themselves in her mind now, repeating themselves again and again.

"I love her." he says finally. "I'm in love with her."

And again. "I'm sorry."

She wished he would stop. Just stop.


	21. Risk

**Author's Note: Hey guys. With the second round of midterms just getting over, it's been hard to get enough time online. Thanks again for the reviews!**

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He speaks, not without a moment's hesitation.

"We _could _you know," he tentatively suggests, "Make it official. Get m-"

A sharp jab in the ribs shuts him up.

"Don't." Her voice is light, but he can hear the edge to it. "We're not going there, Black."

As much as she wants it, (And God, how she does.) one thing Leah Clearwater will not take right now is a risk.


	22. Best

She likes the way he holds her hand for no apparent reason when they're together. How they always feel rough and warm. The way he snorts a bit when he laughs.

The shade of brown his eyes are. Her favourite color of chocolate. The way he brushes the water from his hair when it's wet.

How when she talks, he listens. Really listens, like what she has to say is the most important thing in the world.

She loves the way he kisses her, the way he makes her feel like she truly is the only one. Says her name.

But she likes it best when he holds her against him, just holds her, those moments when there's no need to say anything at all.


	23. Nothing

**Author's Note: Elaina...damn, that was fast!**

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When Leah was five years old, Sam Uley pushed her into the sandbox. She scraped her knee, cried and promised to hate him forever.

When she was seven, he put a worm in her lunch box. She socked him right in the gut, and got a strict telling off from her mother.

When she was eleven, he put glue on her seat. She put jalapeño sauce in his chocolate milk.

When she was fifteen, she began to notice him. She was angry when he didn't notice her too. At least, not at first.

When she was seventeen, he asked her out. She wacked his arm when he tried, hesitantly, to kiss her. Then she planted one on him. She remembered how his lips felt then, even now.

When she was nineteen, he broke her heart. Tore it to a million pieces. And there was nothing she could do to get back at him.


	24. Scared

**Author's Note: Midterms are OVER! Rejoice! Thanks for being patient, as always. And I made the mistake of starting Stephen King's It and Carrie three days and haven't been able to put them down since. Hence, lack of update. :D**

**ItzCuzOfFame: Aww, I'm glad you like it that much!**

**Jaocbleah: (On chapter 22) Yup, I guessed they were :).**

**I wrote this while reading BD, the part before the "epic battle" was supposed to take place. Battle never happened, but I decided to post this up anyway.**

********************

They were coming for them. All of them.

Leah Clearwater had never felt fear, not this kind anyway. This fear was slow and took its time, torturing her lazily.

The Volturi was coming for them in what, a month? A few weeks? How much longer did they have?

She knew they couldn't win. Sure, the leeches had brought over more of their friends to help them fight, but from what she had heard, she knew who the odds favoured.

Just when her life seemed to fall back in place. They were coming here to rip them all apart. All for that little girl. That demon spawn.

It wasn't herself she feared for. Seth. Her mother. Sam.

Jacob.

Don't let them hurt Jacob.

It was so unfair. How much they would lose when they lost. Collin and Brady were still so young with families they loved, Embry had a mother to support, Billy would shattered if Jake died...and her mother...she didn't want to think about that.

Seth. She wouldn't let them take him from her. Not the way the took her father. She wouldn't.

_Oh, yes they can, _a voice whispered at the back of her head.

She shook it away.

She was scared.

She was very, very scared.


	25. Gravity

**Author's Note: Special thanks to reviewers! I heart you guys with all my heart!**

**********************

When he's with her, he soars.

There is nothing tying him down. No cosmic bonds of eternal devotion, no force pulling him pulling to the earth. Just this incredible rush, like he's hurtling, the wind roaring in his ears.

Because that's what she does to him. Lifts him up, up above, where's no one else but the two of them. Him and Her. Jacob and Leah. Two halves of a whole.

Sometimes, she's scared. Scared that they can't stay up in their haven forever, that he'll come crashing back down.

He tells her she shouldn't worry.

Gravity, in his opinion, has always been overrated.


	26. Share

**Author's Note: Special thanks to reviewers!**

**And please get more people to join Team Blackwater on Facebook!**

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"I don't like it," she murmurs against him, her fingers threading through his hair as he lies against her.

"Don't like the way she looks at you. Like she freaking owns you."

"Leah." his voice was amused, "She's _three."_

"Exactly. Kid shouldn't own anything right now."

"She doesn't own me." He tells her, kissing her neck. "No more than you do."

She hits him lightly.

"I _so _own you, Black."

"I belong to the both of you. Just...in different ways."

Well, if that's the case...

She rolls over pinning him beneath her.

"Yeah, well, I've never been one to share."

And for the next few hours that follow, there is no one he belongs to but her.


	27. Gone

**Author's Note: Special thanks to reviewers!**

**Sorry about the delay!  
**

*********************

They call her a bitch.

A whore.

Freak of nature.

Bitter shrew.

Their words rain down on her when they run as a pack, a supposed family, a supposed being of one.

They don't even try. Try to understand her. They can't, being the thick-headed idiots they are. None of them knows what its like, having everything you ever loved ripped away from you. The man you loved, your sister, your father. All they see is the outside. The armour she puts up, so their words, sharp as glass shards, bounce back right at them. Her words will hurt them more then theirs hurt her.

And so she becomes what they call her. From the inside and the out. A cruel, bitter, lonely bitch. She's lost the girl she used to be.

Because, if even she tried to find her again, that girl is gone.

Sam Uley (and Fate, for good measure) did a good job making sure of that.


	28. Here

**Author's Note: Special thanks to reviewers!**

**Sorry about the delay!  
**

*********************

When it all just gets to her, when she's on the edge of breaking down, she goes to the beach.

There's a strange kind of peace here, a cool and comforting kind. The roar of the waves always help clear her thoughts, especially the bad ones. They help her remember. Happier times, simpler days.

Her father had brought to First Beach ever since she was two. He'd hoist her up on his shoulders, treading carefully into the water, smiling as she shrieked when the mist sprayed them both.

When she got older, he'd bring her here and tell her tales of their ancestors, of the first wolves, of Q'wati, the Transformer. Of Bayaq, The Raven Trickster and Dask'iya the ogre. The legends of their people.

She'd try to run away sometimes, when she and Sue had had another fight. Never worked, her father always knew where to find her. Huddled up in his jacket and he took her home, she knew she was safe from her mother's impending rage.

It's the day after his funeral, today. She hasn't gone home to change out of the ratty shorts and t-shirts she wears. Now she's one of them. A wolf, just like her forefathers. She knows her father is proud, even though it killed him.

She sits on the cool sand, hearing the waves crash down.

Lets herself smile, just a little bit.

He'll never be gone, not truly. Because a part of him is here, in this special place that belongs to the two of them.

He's here.


	29. Mistletoe

**Author's Note: Hey guys! Sorry for disappearing like that, I've been busy with Half-yearlies, and then I got myself grounded. Thanks again to my amazing reviewers, Elaina, ItzCuzOfTheFame, and...ah, you guys know who you are.**

**Gabrielle: Did I? I haven't watched that movie since I was...8. I actually based that scene on the one between Violet and the third Quagmire triplet in one of the books. **

*********************

"I," she announces, staring at the floor, littered with decorations, "Hate this."

"Now, now." he chides, coming up behind her. "Hate is a strong word. Severely dislike, now that-"

"Look at all this." she waves her hands around, effectively cutting him off. "Those corporate machines are out to get us with commercialization! Advertising industries _feed _off this!"

He raises a brow. "Oookay." Apparently she does go to class, on the rare occasion.

"Where is the _spirit?"_

"Never took you for a sentiment."

"Someone needs to be. With all this plastic crap hanging around. Hell, even the tree's fake."

"Ah, so we're on the environmentalist rant now, are we?"

"This," she picks up a streamer from the floor, "And that," points at the wreath hanging above the fireplace, "And," her eyes go skyward. "That." her throat catches. "Yeah. That."

He follows her eyes up. A clump of mistletoe hangs above them. Christmas and corporate machines don't really have anything to with it after all.

He forgets that she hates things related to any form of romance. Because whatever it is, whether a box of chocolates on Valentine's Day, or flowers on her birthday, she doesn't get to experience them anymore.

Then again...

He steps forward, taking her wrists. Presses his lips to hers.

"Merry Christmas, Leah."

She's a little too stunned to reply.

So he smirks, just a little, and strolls away.

Always good to spread a little holiday cheer.

***********************

**Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all of you!  
**


	30. Okay

**Author's Note: Ah, the sweet smell of freedom.**

**ItzCuzOfTheFame: Aray, you know the Moms get, yaar. I missed all of you too much.**

**Elaina: You are the BEST.**

**Kei Kat Jones: Where ARE you?!**

**It is my great pleasure to bring you the third last drabble of All I Am. We're nearly at the end, guys. Stick around.  
**

**Enjoy, my loves. :D **

**************************  
**

You told me it would be okay, Jake.

You promised.

You told me that we would fight, that we were fighters. We could deny Destiny, tell Fate she could go take a long walk and never come back.

You told me that we pull through this together, love each other against all odds.

I believed you.

Do you know what that's like, Jacob? After everything you love has been ripped away, to learn to _believe _again? To hope? That maybe this time, things will work out okay? The odds will be in your favour?

No, you probably don't.

It all worked out for you, didn't it? You got the soulmate, the eternal lover, the constant companion, the whole deal.

You'll probably never know what this feels like. Fighting and losing. Again.

She's the only one you'll ever see.

She always was.

So now you're standing here, begging, pleading, asking me to stay. Don't leave. It was a mistake. I'll never look at her again…Leah, please.

I tell you be fine. You'll be okay.

We both know the truth.

*******************

**To all my fellow Canadians, happy belated Boxing Day! If...that actually is a celebration. Hope you all had a GREAT Christmas (I know I did :P :D)  
**


	31. Goofy

**Author's Note: Last chap up on New Years Eve guys. Can anyone think of any resolutions Jake might make? **

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There's something about the sight of two werewolves playing in the snow that makes her grin.

Looking at her, he smiles. "You look really goofy."

She scowls at him.

"Is that a bad thing?"

He pulls her close.

"No. I like goofy."

***************

**Ah, you must excuse this. The things eggnog does to the brain. Terrifying, I say. Makes you spew out nonsensical drabbles and whatnot.**

**R&R  
**


	32. Resolutions

**Author's Note: So this is the last one, guys. Thanks for everything. I hope you like it.**

*******************  
**

Resolutions.

He's never been good at making any, never really tried either.

So he figures, on the eve of a new decade, it might be a good time to start.

Number one. Stop bugging Edward about his age. Old Man quirks must stop. At least, for a month or two. Cause it's just too much fun for it to permanent.

Graduate from school, it'll get Billy off his back. Get a job. Maybe make enough money to get his own Aston Vanquish, so he can stop borrowing Cullen's. (Er. Yeah. _That's _happening.)

Be a better Alpha, as corny as that sounds. Cut Quil some slack, he can't help it if his mind's full of Dora and Blues Clues.

Try not to beat the crap outta Sam when he pulls out his Better Alpha out. Try being the crucial word here. Self-control is hard when you're a wolf.

Be there for Nessie. The kid's going to have everything, a loving family, guys swooning over here, growing up smart and loved…except for a friend. She'll never have a normal friend, a person she can just hang out with and talk to. But that's what he's for. That's the role he'll play.

Fight for his girl. Leah might bug the crap out of him, but he loves her with every inch of his being. He resolves to love her forever even if it ends up killing him.

And he knows that if there's one resolution he'll keep, the last one is it.

*************

**Thank You's**

**A big hug and thank you goes out to all of you, Eliana, Kei Kat Jones, Little Girlie Wolf, ItzCuzOfTheFame, Jaocbleah, MrsBlackwifey, Alaina, Blackwater4ever and all the rest. Thank you all for being such a huge support.**

**So 2009's at an end, All I Am's over, and I'll take this chance to wish all of you a very Happy New Yesr. May 2010 rock your socks right off.**

**I'll be taking a short break for the next two weeks, at least from Twilight fics. Branching out to different fandoms and all that. But don't worry, you'll be seeing plenty more Blackwater from my side, maybe even a multi chaptered story, if I can get around to it.**

**Oh, and keep in touch :) I'm so glad I got to know all of you.**

**So that's all for now, I have a New Year's Eve party to go to, and I'm sure all of you do to. Once again, thank you all for making All I Am a bigger success than I could've ever imagined. I love you all.**

**Regards,**

**LiraelAlanna aka. beybladegirl  
**


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